• Adoption,  Allowing,  Foster Parenting,  Life Coaching,  Parenting,  Speaking,  Special Needs Children

    Parenting vs Cyberspace

            This week we have been on Fall break. Four kids home from school, one at college, two working, one sleeping. Eight at home is hard. Two is easy,  four a bit harder. Anything over that? You need your radar to be very accurate. We live in a culture that would like to think we don’t have responsibility for kids after they turn eighteen. That is exactly how it is in the foster system. That is how we are programmed in this country. Why? Because all kids go to college at eighteen don’t they? I hate to disillusion  you but that is just not quite correct. Not…

  • Adoption,  Foster Parenting,  Parenting,  Special Needs Children,  Uncategorized

    The Struggle Is Real!

    When you are a Foster Parent the struggle is REAL! There are days when you feel immensely alone. When you think you should give up. When you think nothing is working with this particular child. The thoughts of failure and wondering where to turn next, are real. I remember when my first foster children came.  Twin boys, for the weekend. They had clothes on that were too small, and held on tightly to their bottles, which looked grimy. The stared almost vacantly at me as I pasted a smile on my face through the tears I was trying to hide. They screamed every time I put them in a car…

  • Adoption,  Foster Parenting,  Life Coaching,  Parenting,  Special Needs Children

    When Fear Overcomes Your Desire To Foster/Adopt

    This photo is of me on my front porch. I’ve been on that front porch with more than one therapist. Someone who is helping me and my child. You see, there is help.  Help in all situations when you foster/adopt. But there is also fear. Fear that there will be no help, nobody to support you. Fear that overcomes you to the point that the desire you have to foster/adopt is overcome by it. I have heard so many stories where foster parents give up. Why?  Their heart is broken or their expectation is not met. Yet, there are still children out there needing foster parents. Their hearts are already…

  • Adoption,  Allowing,  Foster Parenting,  Life Coaching,  Parenting,  Speaking,  Special Needs Children

    The Joys and Challenges of The Foster/Adoptive Parent

    Adopting eight kids is a joy! Adopting eight kids is a challenge! One set of twins is a joyful surprise! Three sets of twins is a challenge! But, do not get me wrong, all children bring joy! All children bring challenges. Adopted, fostered or biological. My journey brought much joy and restoration to my life. You see I lost an identical twin with my second pregnancy. I was blessed with one of them, but was sad that I never conceived another set of twins. I knew I was a twin mum.   So did God!  He sent three sets! Often when there is an adoption through a private agency that…

  • Adoption,  Foster Parenting,  Life Coaching,  Parenting

    Is Being a Foster Parent Right For Me?

    What is being a foster parent like? I asked the same question. How can you know though without trying? You can’t.  (Keep reading for the special offer!) You find you have this desire or passion but are wary about acting on it. I did too. I was positive I was not going to foster.  I was only going to adopt. I would have missed out on a world of surprises and deep gratification. But I didn’t have any clue about what it was really like going through the classes. Oh, I knew enough, but not enough to make me step up. I only stepped up because of an urgent phone…

  • Adoption,  Allowing,  Foster Parenting,  Life Coaching,  Parenting,  Speaking,  Special Needs Children

    When you are burned and want to give up……..

    You finally got a child, a foster child. You’ve never had a child of your own, or, your passion to have one is intense. It’s a small, helpless child. You got all the information and your head is reeling. This child needs a home and ours has been chosen. You love unconditionally. You let down all your barriers. Your heart is ruling your head. And, bam.  There comes a relative, mom or dad.  From nowhere.  One who you think is not fit. In your heart, this child is yours. You cannot think of any good qualities this relative may have. You can only see what you can give. Familiar? There…

  • Adoption,  Allowing,  Foster Parenting,  Life Coaching,  Parenting,  Speaking,  Special Needs Children

    When Your Life Is In A Trash Bag (And You Think You Are Just Plain Garbage)

    I chose a drama piece for my theatre group the other day. It was about foster kids. Foster kids who didn’t stay in one place. The ones that are troublesome. The ones that think their life doesn’t count. The ones looking for love from someone who sees through their disguise. The ones that carry their life in a “trash bag.” If you have enough its a black large one. If you don’t its a white one meant for the kitchen size trash can. I know this is real.  You see I fostered kids who came with a trash bag. The saddest thing is one of my new drama kids, was that…

  • Adoption,  Allowing,  Foster Parenting,  Life Coaching

    When Adoption Seems Impossible.

    Did your road to adoption start out with energy and hope? Has it got a little jaded and anxious on the way? Well, you are not alone. We have adopted eight kids and not one of those paths were easy. We only really went through three adoption processes because we were blessed with three sets of twins, but every journey provided it’s own difficulties to overcome. We also fostered a child from a broken adoption.  His journey was arduous.  It was often filled with negativity, legal battles, and even the long silences where we were terrified that he would be subjected to living in primitive housing in the middle of…

  • Adoption,  Allowing,  Foster Parenting,  Life Coaching,  Parenting,  Speaking,  Special Needs Children

    Want to Adopt? Where from……………….

      So, you want to adopt? Where from? How? How old? When? All of these questions arise when the thought, adoption, comes into your mind and won’t let go. You live it, dream it, google it, it never leaves. I remember the very first time that thought came to my head. I remember the importance of the moment, and the impatience that came along with it. I wanted to get going NOW!!!!! But where from, how, when, like how long does this take? It all fell into perfect place for me and I found my feet through all of the trainings and paperwork, but it isn’t always that easy. Our…

  • Adoption,  Allowing,  Foster Parenting,  Life Coaching,  Parenting,  Speaking,  Special Needs Children

    When The Honeymoon is over……what next?

    This morning I needed a plumber. This morning my plumber needed me. Why? My plumber had been together with his partner for nineteen years with no children. Three months ago, he took home his niece and nephew with guardianship, because their drug addicted mother could no longer care for them. One month ago, being compassionate, caring and trying to do the right thing, he tried to  “help” their mother. All chaos broke out. He does not understand why his efforts to be kind and caring are backfiring. A few questions and he answered all his own questions. You see, you cannot change anyone, including a 32 year old addict. All…