Category Archives: Parenting

My Sweet Autistic Child

 

 

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I so remember when my sweet, big bouncing daughter came into my life.  I had fostered a number of kids at this point in my journey, and was on the path to adopting our very first arrivals, identical twin boys who were nearly three.

I stumbled on this path, or should I say pushed onto the path of fostering by someone a lot bigger than I.  God.  Not my intent, but I am so happy it was His.  By the time the boys were nearly three, and I had of course vowed never to go back to nappies (that’s diapers for most of you) I was well entrenched in several changes a day.  I decided I would bite the bullet so to speak, and put my hand up for a newborn if there was a need.

Well, there is always a need because newborns cannot go to care for the fist six weeks, and I was a stay at home mum.  The call came pretty quickly and I was on my way to the store to buy a bassinet, the first in nearly twenty years, and all that went with the precious little girl I was to pick up from the hospital the next day.

She was beautiful! Eight plus pounds, chubby and so sweet, until.  Forget what they tell you about the baby being not positive for drugs.  If Mom uses, then baby is unhappy for about three weeks.  Nights of sleeping with her upright on my chest, swapping off with amazing hubby.

About a week after she came home, there was an instinct, maternal or probably spiritual, that just knew there was something I couldn’t put my finger on, but the sense of knowing was intense.

She grew, and as she did, it was almost like she was diagnosed with what I call the Alphabet Syndrome.  ADHD, Dyslexia (Visual), and then came the ticks.  Tourrette’s I was told.  We got therapy, group, individual, but there was still that knowing underneath that there was the “biggie”, the part we didn’t have, maybe the part that ruled everything else.

She was seven when we took all of them to Australia (there were now eight, including three sets of twins).  She loved the flights, and hated the airports.  The meltdowns were massive.  We found corners to rest, or should I say hide, and it was becoming obvious we needed to find the place where this inability to change feet, or mindset, was coming from.  And, how do we make life better for her?

This little voice inside me whispered  “Aspergers”.  I knew it was on the Autistic scale but had little knowledge of what it was.  While we were still on our trip  one of my long term friends, who was now teaching children with this diagnosis, asked did my daughter have Aspergers.

Years have gone by since then and some of the other things that trouble my precious one become magnified by the high functioning Autism.  It is not just a diagnosis, it is a lifestyle, one all of us have had to come to understand.

As a teenager, she struggles with peers and relationships, rules and consequences, and the fact that her mind doesn’t think like most other people.  She hates therapy, but knows it is necessary.  You see, therapy is about words, lots of them, and words are not her friends.  Yelling to her can be just a smidgen above normal speech, discerning expressions can lead her into relationship failure.

It took becoming certified as a Life Coach, and then continuing my studies in this field to learn to “allow” my sweet, autistic child to be who she is, understand and lead her into better choices.  It is a process that doesn’t have an expiry date, but as we learn together, life becomes easier.

If some of this sounds familiar and you would like a free fifteen minute coaching session please feel free to contact me at, kate@theaodptionthing.org.   I would love to help you.