Tag Archives: Epilepsy

When The Honeymoon is over……what next?

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This morning I needed a plumber.

This morning my plumber needed me.

Why?

My plumber had been together with his partner for nineteen years with no children.

Three months ago, he took home his niece and nephew with guardianship, because their drug addicted mother could no longer care for them.

One month ago, being compassionate, caring and trying to do the right thing, he tried to  “help” their mother.

All chaos broke out.

He does not understand why his efforts to be kind and caring are backfiring.

A few questions and he answered all his own questions.

You see, you cannot change anyone, including a 32 year old addict.

All of your best efforts to do so will fall on deaf ears.

Change can only come from within.

But, children, can be changed and guided by love, understanding, and building trust with them.

The change still comes from within them, but is guided by parents, guardians, foster parents, those that are sent to guide them, lead them, and love them.

Children are still forming their minds and patterns even in the midst of chaos.

They are looking for a hero, someone who will love them regardless.

They will push every boundary, and test you to the limit.

They may have seen too much, but, given the right guidance, counsel, and wise counsel, they will survive and overcome.

In my personal experience, I cannot change the addict, they can only change themselves, with professional help.

Again, in my personal experience, I can help the child to embrace a different life by providing the right counsel, opportunities, understanding and love.  Tough love at times, but love.

Love alone does not work.  Prayer, followed by hard work and dedication do have an effect.

Just as in marriages, honeymoons end, and, real life begins.  When the honeymoon ends, that’s when we see the real picture, and know just where to go, what to adjust, and if we do have the stamina and tolerance to ride this relationship to it’s fruition.

I could have left my marriage many times when things did not go my way.  I could have walked from relationships with my children when times got tough, and I could have walked from my relationship with my elderly mother when times got to be outrageous.

But, a relationship, has two sides.  Yours and theirs.  I choose to sculpt my side of any relationship in the form I want and need it to be.  It rubs off if it is done with the right attitude and the right heart.

So, in the case of my plumber, he wants to talk with me a whole lot more because his mind gained a new clarity after our “conversation” or impromptu coaching session.  He went from being the victim, to understanding the real victim, the child.

He went from feeling hurt, to understanding the hurt from the child.  He left not feeling hurt from words said from a thirteen year old child, but empowered knowing he can stand on the other side and help the child without getting his feelings hurt.

I leave you with this.  No child needs to be left behind if our thoughts are captured, looked at really hard, and understand that we will survive, but if we take offense from a child who has been abused and neglected, we are not helping anyone, including ourselves.
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So You Want To Foster To Adopt

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You are frustrated. You want to adopt a child, here, not overseas.

The system is difficult, long suffering, and impossible.

You decide to foster to adopt.

You expect your first child is going to be the one that stays, he/she doesn’t.

Then the second, the third, the group of three, none stay.  You are disillusioned.

You want to give up.

Why?

Maybe those children were not meant to be yours long term?

Maybe God just meant them to be there for you to nurture in the transition back to family who could parent?

What if you were their Angel unaware in their time of need?

What if you were the person who gave them their first hug, their first bedtime story, their first regular schedule, their first smile.

Does that change the way you are feeling?

Think about it.  Because God has the right child, or children in the right time.  Sometimes we just give up before the moment of miracles.

Our heart breaks with longing for the child we want to hold.  Their heart is breaking with longing for the mother or father they want to love them.

It’s sort of a catch 22.  We long for a baby, or child, they long for a family, and yet we are stuck in our own thoughts, and not allowing for the child’s.  What if you did that?  Stood in the child’s shoes?

Think of the fear they feel.  Think of the confusion; the rejection, thinking their parents have left.  Think of the lack of affection, the toys, bedtimes stories, hugs, home cooked food, pajamas, a bed of their own, all of these they do not have.

If you can give this for a week, a month, and in my case once, a year, then you have done your part of this amazing journey.  You have changed a child’s life.  You are truly a foster to adopt parent.

Your forever child will come.  At the right time, in the right circumstance, the right age (whether you asked for this or not) and the right sex.  Boy or girl doesn’t matter you know.  You get what you get when you birth them biologically.

I have two children specifically in my mind that I thought I wanted to be my forever children, but it was not to be.  In hindsight, I was right. The system was right in one case;  I painfully chose another family for the other,  but, it worked out.

Big news.  I am still in contact with them to this day because I did the job of the Foster Parent.  I so wanted them to be mine forever, but, that was not the plan, the ultimate Almighty plan.  I am blessed because I went with the plan.

Oh, and did I tell you this?  I ended up with eight adopted children, including three sets of twins.  Those that God meant to stay did, and to those children that I was meant to be their Angel unaware, I was.  To fifty or so of them.

Don’t look at the prize guys, look at the journey, and the joy on the way.  The prize is not your forever kids, it is the love, comfort and joy you give to those that are put upon your path in the journey of the Foster to Adopt parent.  Your forever kids are more than the prize, they are the virtual love of God given to you, for being able to give of your heart to “the lost children” who needed you, needed you in every hour.  Those children become “Invisible.”  They feel that way, until you pick them up, in your arms, love them, nurture them, read to them, and sometimes give them back to family who love them too.

If you want a free mini session (life coaching) go here.

If you want to list to a song that will minister about this go here.

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Miracles Do HAPPEN!!!!!

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I believe in miracles go here and  listen to this amazing song about ordinary miracles.

In my family ordinary, everyday miracles happen, because I believe.

I don’t even think about it, I just believe.

I could not have done that some seventeen years ago, but my life changed.

I had, HAD to, believe in ordinary, everyday miracles.  For my kids.

I am in Nashville right now.  I have a child, that is legally mine, who is a walking miracle.

I read up on google, who is your friend, today about his diagnosis.

He should not be alive, let alone, be walking or talking or being anything other than maybe in a vegetative state, or a slow, long, painful recovery of a very severely traumatized brain.

What I read.  An aneurism, a blood clot, a stroke, a trauma to his grey/white matter in his brain.  Top that off with a spleen trauma, deep lacerations to his left face, ear, hand, arm, and five different fractures to his back.

This is a walking miracle.  Four weeks later, he is talking, standing, walking, still a little scrambled in his memories vs his aspirations, but heck, even the hospital staff and doctors don’t get this.  He is God’s Miracle.

This child, or young man really, I just think of him as a child, came to me seven years ago because of another miracle in his life.

You see, he was adopted, but the adoption went sour, and south, in a very bad way.  The end result was he was the kid who escaped the authorities in both countries, Liberia and USA, and ended up in the interior of Rivercess.  He was westernized.  He couldn’t catch fish with his bare hands, or climb a coconut tree.  He suffered beyond what a child should.  He thought he deserved this.

I didn’t.  My amazing hubby didn’t either.  And we found him and brought him back. An amazing miracle.  How do you find a kid in the jungle in less than a day?  God.    This is the young man who has yet again suffered physically, and mentally.

When I heard the news, I never doubted he would be healed, fully, back to total mental and physical health.  I am watching that happen.

He will survive.  He will be full restored cognitively and physically.  He will have all of his memories, and full capacity of his abilities.

You see, our God reigns.  Supremely, undoubtedly, truthfully, justly, righteously, kindly, and knows everything.  Yup, everything.  He guides us, forgives us, loves us, and heals.  Mind, body, soul and spirit.  He is our creator of everything including life and death.  He decides, we don’t.  We only think we do.

Challenges are God breathed.  They are there for us to meet, rise up and move forward.a must place to visit while you're on-2
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When The Impossible Becomes Easy

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I really wish I had a rainbow in that picture above.

But a church and a steeple will do for now.

I’m gonna dive in deep early.  We all have a spirit, soul, mind and flesh.

Our flesh is weak.  Gives in to our desires, unless we are in mindfulness.

What is that?

Being present in your mind at all times.  Understanding weakness.

Our minds are weak, as well as our flesh.

Our soul, and our spirit are strong.  Connected.

Especially in trauma, or desperation.

I have two things going on right now with my children.

My adopted, and my long term foster/ rescued child.

My child from Africa in a coma?  Such a miracle.  Visited.

He knew me.  I stopped myself from crying.  Why?

He needed me to be strong.  I was.  But I will cry after writing this.

He grabbed my hand, he tried to speak to me, he will be healed.

NO DOUBTS!  More on that as we progress.

My “New” Thompsons’ as we call them, a search and find mission.

Epilepsy.  Crap, I was not aware there were so many types and manifestations of this disease.  I know the stuff in the daytime.

Freaking scary!  Dang!  I remember being afraid of asthma.

This has nothing on that.  But, dealt the hand, you learn to deal.

So I have two that do this during the day.  Nothing usual in their seizures, both children, different, and needing a constant watch to know if that “tick, blink, head throw,” was actually a grand mal seizure.  In fact, one just rolls her eyes back, and sinks to the floor seemingly unconscious.  SCARY!!!  Missed many of the tick, blink, head throws as being “ticks.”  So hard to know, even for a really expert pediatrician.

But now I have sleeping seizures.  Jesus take the wheel on this.  I know for sure in one, but on reading up on this suspect two.  That makes four out of four in two sets of twins from same biological Mom.

So, what do I feel about this?  What are my thoughts about this?  We already know the situation, epileptic seizures, but then how do I act on this information?  That’s pretty clear on all of those.  Dang, you get real.  You understand that your child,  is in a situation that needs medical, neurological help and you make the appointment.  I have.  Not putting my head in the sand here.  I am the General, you know, the one that makes the decisions, and takes the action.

So what is the outcome of these seizures that are sort of silent, in their sleep, like how do I know this is happening????

I will accept all advice, but, for me first is an old fashioned baby monitor.  Totally thank one  of my older kids friends, (another un- officially adopted Thompson.) Yup, I am gonna hear a disturbance.  Next is convincing my teenagers that I am not spying on their privacy, but concerned about their seizures.

I am learning on my journey and continue to search for answers.  I will blog and keep you all in the loop.  I am in reality, but also know that my faith + my desire have to be the same, and wow, it is above a ten for both.  When we wholly desire and wholly believe at the same level, anything is possible.  Another time, but I could tell you a list of miracles I have witnessed through being aligned totally with desire and faith.

You may be reading this and are struggling with an issue, a health issue, with your foster or adoptive children, or even your biological child, please contact me.  I am always open to a free, yup FREE, coaching session where I can help you find out YOUR feelings and thoughts about this.

I’m not a therapist guys, I’m a foster/adoptive parent who happens to be a life coach, double certified, ready and willing.  I help you find out what YOU think about this.

Until the next blog, which will be soon, so much happening.  I am going to keep you informed and up to date.

Hey, I am your people.  You found one on of your people.

WILL BLOOM

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This really did work for me!

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I’ve been writing, writing a very important book.

It’s about how I took the foster/parent training and made it work.

If you are a foster/adoptive parent then you know what I am saying.

The things that matter.  Bonds, families, siblings, discipline and love.

I did drink a lot of coffee, but I love what this book says.

You see, if you are not a foster parent, but have thought about it, you need to read this.

I will explain why, right now.

Years ago, some nearly twenty years, I made a decision that changed my life.  I became a foster parent.  I didn’t dream this, I didn’t crave this, it was not my biggest desire, but, I knew I was called to do this.

At my heart, my greatest desire is to write.  Music, books,  poems, anything that matters and can make a difference.  Foster parents make a difference.

The problem has escalated way beyond twenty years ago.

Drug abuse is at an all time high.  So is terrorism.

These two things alone put children in a place without parents.

So, in comes the foster parent.

Or so you would hope.

But there are not enough foster parents to go around.

Children are in group homes, a pretty name for an orphanage.

Here in the United States and other western countries.

Ok, I know not all of you reading this are called to be foster parents.

But, can you be aware?  Can you step up to help another foster parent?

There’s a lot of talk right now about “being a village.”

But no talk of the countless numbers of foster children in our country.

We need to be their village.

The kids need us.

They are alone, they have lost everything, and no, they are not animals that have been abused, but human beings.  Little people.

Children.

Lost in a world that doesn’t care.

I need some volunteers to give me some feed back on my book.  I would love some of you to email me and let me know if you would read it.

By the way?

I wish I had known all of this with my biological children.

Parenting one-on-one.

Email me and get a copy, let me know what you think?

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When You Think You Can’t Handle Anymore

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So you get this child.

A twin…… so two children.

You know they are at risk……birth mom is an addict.

Oh, and then birth mom is epileptic.

Then another set of twins, same birth mom.

Different issues, but same, almost, DNA

All four diagnosed CP (Cerebral Palsy.)

All four in intensive therapies five days a week.

Two have “seizures” which look entirely different.

Nothing shows up.  Two go on without any “evidence”.

But, that’s not the truth.  The silent brain disease is there.

But there are “ticks” or so I am told.

No-one is thinking epilepsy.  No one.

So the years go by and all is ok, or so you think.  A few hiccups.

BUT, THEY, the medical profession, SAY IT’S OK

Fast forward, to teenage years.

One, goes down, two go down, and a third? Out of four.

Epilepsy.

So what now?

Tests, EEG’s, MRI’s, worry, panic?  No.  I will not do that.

You see, these younger four children, two sets of twins, who came from the same birth Mom, (Mum Aussie), are amazing, have conquered so much and blew all diagnosis’ out of the park.

Well on a trip recently to one of our favorite places to visit, a third had a grand mal seizure, while asleep, in the back of our vehicle, which is an airport shuttle.

One, I haven’t had any of them have a seizure while asleep, and two she wasn’t on the list to be epileptic, and three, where and what is causing this?

All of my years of handling seizures went out of the window.  I thought something else, something much more serious.  A cat scan ruled that out, and an EEG confirmed multi epilepsy.

Well, I could be freaked out, but I am glad I know my enemy.  I am thanking God it was not a tumor or something worse.  It is a different form from her twin, and different from her younger sister, but the same genetics.

The fourth?  Yup.  He has an EEG scheduled because he has developed intermittent “tics” which look like his younger sister who has multi focal epilepsy, that means in all parts of her brain, but does not have what we think is a seizure until all those parts fire off at the same time.

I will be relieved, pleased, estactic in fact, if it is only indeed a “tick.”  But, my gut says get it checked out.  I am not up for anymore surprises.  No more seizures in the back of our “bus” and no more traumas to child and family.

So, do I regret buying into this by fostering and adopting these four amazing children?  Never.  Not a moment.  Not a second.  Not a diagnosis, not a reality, not a fearful moment, nothing, no nothing, separates me from my children.

You see, while I did not know I could handle this, God did.  He knew he could trust me to put them first, even if I didn’t.  I’ve never trusted myself, but somehow, God did.  And, I am so glad He did.

If you have ever thought about this journey, as a foster/adoptive parent, you probably will not have the same issues, complicated, and needing issues that we did, because God will call you, and give you the children that are meant for you.

There are few that are called to the mission field, and even fewer that are called to do the mission.  This is a mission field, one that God asked us to in James 1.27.  You, and everyone are called to that mission field, but are you called to do, “DO” the mission.

Only you know.

If this has touched your heart, is calling on your heart and soul, please sign up on my email and contact me. I would love to help you on your journey to find which child, or children, belong in YOUR home.

Kate's Quotes I am not a perfect person

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How Often Do You Dream?

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I have been told from a very young age that my head is in the clouds.

I dream too much.

I want too much.

I expect too much.

I AM TOO MUCH!!!!!

I will tell you that yup I do all of that.  I dream, I want, I expect, and I don’t doubt any of it is coming to me, because, why?

WHY?

For most people, including some of my close family and friends, I am too much, I do dream too much, I do want too much and I do expect too much.  Because, I’ve not only earned it, but I’ve dreamed it and expected it to happen.  And can I tell you it DID!  I believed.

From the beginning of my foster/adoption journey I have never, no NEVER, believed the bad report.  I have always not doubted, but expected it all to be as it should.  A healthy, functioning child.  Even when I was looking at a child that should, had, and indeed could live this bad report.  I_just_never_believed_in_the_bad_report.

Some say I was just lucky.  My bad prognosis kids all turned out to be functioning.  Luck is not an option.  Belief and prayer is.  Not giving up is.  Giving up my wants was a big part.  Paying attention, giving my time, being dedicated to their outcome?  Yup that was part of it.  Prayer?  Yup about ninety percent.  Luck, about zero percent.  Belief, oh yeah, like two hundred percent.  If you cannot believe, how can you do any of the other stuff?

Ok, now lets put this into some of your real lives.  Do you believe in what you are called to do?  Do you believe that your dreams really do come true?  Do you believe that you are the one person who can make all of this happen?  If you do, and it doesn’t then come back to your mind and your thoughts, then somewhere there in your mind is a dis-connect.  Between the belief and the non-belief

I am here to tell you if you dwell in the dis-belief, or non-belief that is what you are going to get.  When you stay down in the negative stuff which is really relevant to fostering, then you will attract that stuff.  It will consume you.  You will stop thinking about your child, and being an advocate for that needing little one, and go on a merry go round of fighting, and negativity.  Don’t DO this.  There is a better way.

Focus.  Keep your head in the clouds!!  The clouds are a representation of Heaven in our minds.  When we look up and see them we think of Heaven.  So, keep your head there.  Don’t let thoughts rule you.  Dream big dreams for your kids, both foster, adopted and biological.  Never give up, fight back, and most of all?

DREAM!!

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New territories….exciting possibilities!

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I am passionate about what I call the “Lost Children”.

These are the children that are lost in “systems”, drugs, and abuse.

When do we step up?

There is a remnant that do.

I’ve met some of you.

You are as passionate as I am.

But how do we spread the awareness of this “lost world” of children?

Well, that is what I have pondered, wondered, and explored how I could change, or implement change, about awareness of the orphans.

As little as the middle of the last century, when I was born, there were no orphans, no “lost” children, because the church took  care of these kids whose parents were gone, in jail, died etc.

We have supposedly evolved from some seventy years ago, but did we?  Because now these children who have been neglected, abandoned, abused, deserted have transitioned out of the church’s responsibility to the state and federal governments job.

This is not what I know my teaching tells me.  I’m stepping out here.  James 1.27 in the bible.  We are responsible.  We have been commissioned to take care of the orphans and the widows.

But, even the church has changed. So much so, that I believe the awareness of how many children are in need of foster care, is limited at best. We have our interests, our groups, our lots of things, but what we are not aware of is, these children have nothing, no one, no place to go.

In my state our foster children have gone from 6,500 to 13,000 in four years.  There are not enough foster parents, not enough awareness, not enough homes, not enough people interested in our next generation.

I understand.  I have given forty-four years to parenting, waiting in my mind for “my” turn.  But my turn already happened, I just didn’t understand what my turn meant, or what it was.

I thought it was about myself, but it wasn’t.  It was about what was on God’s heart, the children.  The “lost” children.  I heard the call, but, never understood the meaning of it, just thought it was a passing phase.

But, it was God’s heart.

It took me all this time to understand that.

So, although I cannot take more children at this time, I can support and make others aware.  That is my intention.  In every part of my life.

As time goes by, I will tell you more, but I am excited, afraid, anticipating, and wondering how this decision will affect my life, and my new found career as a life coach.

But, my heart, my soul is for the children, the “Lost Children”.

Where are you?  What are your thoughts?  I would love to know.

Here is a link to my songs about adoption.

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The Scary Part……Neurologist

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So tomorrow we see the Neurologist.

She has had a headache since the seizure last Saturday night.

She is on anti-seizure medicine, but what is causing this?

In hindsight, I have seen unusual behavior from her in the last six months.

I saw the same thing when she was coming out of the seizure.

The behavior is gone.

After taking anti-seizure medicine.

I thought it came from just “teenager” behavior.

She is almost 16.

She has never had a behavior or discipline issue.

She is sweet, respectful, determined, stubborn, but that is her.

If she wasn’t strong, she would not be alive.

So, how has the last few days been?

Watching like a psycho person.  Wondering if she will seize, knowing she won’t because of meds, but terrified of the next event that will make me and her helpless.

I am wondering now about the studies on seizures.  Is this epilepsy or something else?  She has a brain bleed from birth which has caused concern about learning disabilities, cognitive ability, and all sorts of other unpronounceable diagnosis’.

I am remembering about my eldest child who had strange episodes going through puberty that were diagnosed as temporal lobe epilepsy events and recognize some of the behaviors and symptoms.

I am digging, digging, digging because I am her only advocate.  Even if she was still a foster child, I would be her only advocate.   There is no-one else other than the mother involved, foster, adopted or biological.  No-one else is invested.  No-one else is going to dig, and dig and dig for the answer.

Although this is on some level stressful, on another it is not.  I am a seeker for truth, answers, and my mind and thoughts kick in knowing there is an outcome.  You see, I can think desperate, or I can think, “there is an answer and I will find it”.  I can think hopeless, or I can think, there is an answer.  I can think like this is a valley or I can think like this is knowledge leading me to have power over this situation, and end up on the mountain top.

You can too.  I learned this through a few years of learning to be a Life Coach.  I have such a different perspective on all emotions and thought patterns.

That doesn’t mean I don’t fall apart in the moment, it means I have an insight into my thoughts and how they lead to my feelings.

My thoughts when this event happened were panic driven.  Not rational, not tapping into my knowledge of this disease, just feeling driven thoughts, emotional driven thoughts, not thoughts I could evaluate and consider if they were the right ones.

I was in emotional mind, not wise mind.

This happens, but should not stay there.  You should always come into a wise mind, one that enables you to think clearly, rationally, and know precisely how your thoughts are going to lead to your outcome.

So, if this a new concept, something you don’t understand, please email me, I would so love to help you understand.

Keep connecting for the update, which will come in as soon as tomorrow or the next few days.

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